With only about two chapters left to write in my new book, “Heroic Compassion” I want to devote a chapter to healing. I know what I’ll be saying, but I’d love to hear your thoughts. There is an expression, “When you can tell your story and it doesn’t make you cry, you’ve really begun to heal”. Does this sum it up for you? Why? … Read More Asking Readers: What Does It Mean to Heal?
When I let people know that I’m a medium – that I connect people with their loved ones in spirit – one of two things happens. Either they lean in with interest, “Wow, really? Is that stuff real? What’s it like?” or they glaze over, try to look polite, and back away as quickly as possible. I get that. Despite the incredible popularity of … Read More Down to Earth Mediumship
I have spoken with so many beautiful, spiritually oriented people who deeply believe there is something profoundly broken within them. These are people who are open-heartedly surging toward the light with all they have, using whatever path feels right to them. They are genuinely kind and sensitive, giving and warm. Yet, these gentle, loving souls carry wounds within their hearts that are tender to … Read More Dancing with our Shadow
Over the years, many of you have commented that you enjoy my writing style and the subject matter that I bring forward. You’ve even encouraged me to write a book! Well, thanks to you, that project has been underway for a little over a year now. With just a chapter or two to go, it’s coming together. The working title is: Heroic Compassion ~ Why … Read More There’s going to be a book!
Or, more appropriately, “back in the blogosphere”. It has been three and a half years since my last post. Wow. Do they even say “blogosphere” anymore? Doesn’t matter. I’m back. One by one, the horses in my stories here all went to new homes – a process that broke my heart again and again. But, they are well and happy. I have kept up … Read More Back in the Saddle ~ so to speak
Trying to learn to ride a horse at fifty-something is daunting at best. I’m quite sure that I break more easily than I did when I was ten, and the idea of ending up in a body cast isn’t appealing in the slightest. That said, I don’t seem to have any particular fear of falling. So, why do I seize up with anxiety at the … Read More What are you afraid of?
At some point in my life, I became a champion of little things. I don’t remember when this happened, which isn’t unusual because I have such a quirky memory. What I do know is that I’ve always been fascinated by the tiny. Miniscule beads, insects, seeds, just about anything mini is interesting in some way to me. This has been quite a challenge, I … Read More It’s the Little Things
As I was mucking stalls last night, sweating and heaving soggy, stinking wads of bedding into the wheelbarrow, I caught myself feeling guilty, almost panicked, that I wasn’t getting enough work done. The anxiety swelled, and somewhere between shovel-fulls I actually heard myself say, “I don’t have time for this! I have work to do!” Oh, dear. I haven’t written in weeks, there are four massive … Read More Being Human Doings
This afternoon, I had the opportunity to speak to a very wonderful group of women. I had no inkling that it was I who would be spoken to. It was a work thing. I was to go and give a lunch-time talk about our organization to a group of elderly ladies at the Jewish Community Center in the city where I work. I had stressed … Read More The Most Important Thing
How deeply poignant, our struggle to “accept”. How painfully overwhelming to wrestle with surges of agonizing grief, the black ocean of shame, the fear of what may come, or the steadfast desire to make things right. We know beyond any doubt, and from our own experience, that some kind of acceptance would resolve, at least to a degree, the ferocity of the conflict within us. And yet, the … Read More Acceptance
Two apples from Panera, chopped into tiny pieces, tucked into a ziplock bag. Step out through the mudroom with me into the dusk, on this, the first night of spring. Mind the cat, he’s deaf. Sixteen years old, and he still catches mice. I find the tails and gut-bits on the mudroom floor where he spends his retirement stretched out in the sun. Appreciate the skreeeee-BANG … Read More First Evening of Spring
There’s a bell that hangs from the oak in the pasture. It’s a remnant from another life, another place, hung with great care during the first months of living here. I didn’t know this pasture yet. I didn’t know the intimacy of the hills, the trees, the sandy clay soil that resists the efforts of even the toughest grasses. I didn’t know Jess, or who we would become … Read More The Pasture Bell
Anaïs Nin: “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom” Winter is still clinging tightly to the pasture. The icy wind threatens, and despite the sun there are still patches of snow. Yet, almost imperceptibly, spring is being born. There is mud where the snow has been. The grass is … Read More The Courage to Risk
It’s very strange, not having any photographs of myself from when I was growing up. My mother is in possession of all the family pictures, and I haven’t seen them in what must be 25 years or more. In my early teens, I discovered photography. I adored taking pictures with my Kodak Instamatic X-15. It had a “Magicube” (ooooh!) and if you know what that is, … Read More One Photograph
The rains came yesterday, cold and constant, saturating the already-soaked ground and turning the paddock into a swamp. There are hoof prints a foot deep in spots, where restless horses churned up the earth as they endured the relentless frigid pounding. This morning, they huddle in a soggy clump, already recovering and patiently waiting for the sun. Fog drapes itself around them like silk. … Read More Intimate Solitude
“Are You Listening” was featured on freshly Pressed! Get the smelling salts! *Running about in the pasture, flapping my hands and hyperventilating* Thank you, WordPress Editors! Most important, thank YOU, readers. Your encouragement has inspired me. Zen Doe
In the six months following Jess’s death, I could barely bring myself to go to the barn except to feed and water the other horses. What was once a refuge and an inspiration had become a spot that was too tender to touch. I allowed myself a luxury that I began to realize I’d never experienced – grief. “It’s just a horse.” Yeah, I know. But, … Read More Captain, My Captain
All of us struggle with our pain to some degree. Our pain contracts us, folding us over to protect the heart. It feels right, it feels like the natural path, to become defensive, small and hard. Shutting ourselves off from what we believe to be the source of discomfort, we build walls, erect barriers and summon the guards of anger and indignation. We struggle in this … Read More Turning Compassion Inward